Just over a month ago I gave every saloon in Red Dead Redemption 2 a review, now it's time to up the ambition and review every food and drink business in Watch Dogs 2. There are just over thirty restaurants, bars, and cafes in all and none of them are clearly marked so the effort that went into supplying you with this absolutely crucial public service should not be overlooked. Let's get straight to it. And for those that are visual learners many of these ones have multiple images so click the arrows to cycle through them. I will warn you, this is a long one but I've tried to keep it fun throughout. With that being said let's get straight to it.
Le Potager (Silicon Valley)
Le Potager feels very nice and high end and I imagine it's very pricey but I couldn't say for sure as there is no visible menu. Here they'll serve you a beer which you'll absolutely chug down while listening to the nice soft piano tunes that are being played live on site. As you can see the lighting is nice and warm and the decor is very classy, maybe the kind of place you'd go for Valentine's day. The area is quite a nice part of Silicon Valley, it's on the outskirts so it's quiet and most online players stick to the city so that's a bonus. Le Potager earns itself a 4.5 out of 5, it loses a half point for the lack of menu. Off to a good start then.
Brewed Delight Coffee (Silicon Valley)
Brewed Delight Coffee is the Watch Dogs 2 equivalent of Costa coffee (which I just learned has locations worldwide), even the uniform colouring is the same. There's quite a nice selection of jams and breads for sale along with ready made sandwiches inside. I was quite shocked as well because upon profiling a server I found that they were paid $47,000 which is $20,000 over the US average for cafe servers so props to Brewed Delight Coffee for good treatment of their staff. If I worked at Nudle (Watch Dogs 2 Google) in Silicon Valley I'd probably grab a coffee here on my way into work. Brewed Delight Coffee Silicon Valley grabs itself a 3/5. It would be a 4 but there is an armed gang just behind the shop so it loses a point for that for obvious reasons.
Le Potager (Golden Gate Park)
So shock and horror as this one has near identical interior decor to the last one but the exterior and location in Golden Gate Park win this one some bonus marks. There's the option to eat outside with a gorgeous view (see slide two). If I could afford it I would love to eat it here but from the looks of it there's absolutely no way I could afford it on my minimum wage. I don't have much more to add to this one as there isn't a huge change from the Silicon Valley one other than what I've stated but the Golden Gate Park restaurant does enough to score a 5/5.
Brewed Delight Coffee (Japantown)
The Japantown Brewed Delight Coffee is mega expensive, just look at that menu! Although the whole chain probably has universal prices so I'm not docking points from this one but $15 for a mocha is ludicrous. According to the other menu sandwiches and paninis are $8 and $10 which is also a little steep but not so bad. This one features a little outside drinking area much like the last restaurant we visited so that's a nice little bonus. If you do chose to sit outside you'll be right next to the iconic San Francisco tramline which is so much better than the drug gang occupied alleyway the Silicon Valley cafe offered. Brewed Delight Coffee Japantown is a marked improvement on the other branch we've looked at so it earns itself a 4/5.
Tiger Panda Restaurant (Chinatown)
Tiger Panda Restaurant offers you a beer which is nice but who goes to a Chinese Restaurant just to get a beer? The servers here are paid $57,000 which is a very nice pay packet so credit to Tiger Panda for putting employees first. There's no visible menu but the guy in the second slide was enjoying two courses, two colas, and a coffee all to himself so we can assume that the food and drinks are pretty reasonably priced which gives Tiger Panda the advantage over the other two chains that we've visited. Location wise it's not my favourite, this one is parked in the middle of the city so it's very busy and if you're an online player the sound of underground gas pipe explosions will probably ruin your nice beer. I'm as much of a fan of Chinese buffet food as the next guy so on that front Tiger Panda is on to a winner. The Tiger Panda Restaurant takes away a very respectful 4/5 only really losing out on that final point on a location based nitpick.
Muraccini's (near Castro Theatre)
You can pick yourself up a nice cup of fresh Italian coffee to go at Muraccini's and there's probably not many nations that are better at coffee than Italy. I couldn't find a menu here so I can't comment on prices but I spotted several people eating pizza and drinking wine (because what else do you eat and drink in an Italian restaurant?) so the food and drink on offer is pretty much what you expect, not that that's a bad thing. I looked around and did a quick profile on all of the diners (a major invasion of privacy) and found that all of them were relatively low income with all 9 patrons earning under $30,000 a year so Muraccini's seems like the working persons choice of restaurant and I support that big time. Live accordion music makes a very nice change from the norm and I love it (not enough to give out points for it but I love it nonetheless). The lack of menu and very busy city location holds Muraccini's back to a 3.5/5 but that's extremely respectable for what it is.
Lucky Pierre's (Castro Theatre)
I'll call back to a previous article (linked earlier in this one) by saying that Lucky Pierre's is to Watch Dogs 2 what Doyle's Tavern is to Red Dead Redemption 2 (you'll have to read that other article to see what I mean). I hate Lucky Pierre's. It's ridiculously garish and loud, as far as I can see it is a bar that only has beer available which is a bit rubbish, and it has a gross carpeted floor that probably absolutely reeks of sweat. It also has a tattoo parlour that is in open view of the patrons which is almost exactly like the idea for Ruby Tattoosday in King of Staten Island (an excellent film that I highly recommend) and I think that's a terrible idea and concept and would never want to have a drink at the same time as watching someone getting a tattoo. Up until now servers being paid highly for their work has been a great thing but the server at Lucky Pierre's is paid $50,900 a year and literally walked out while I was still in there, give that money to someone more deserving. Lucky Pierre's picks up a dismal 1/5.
Le Potager (Mission Dolores Park)
In the name of keeping this article at a reasonable length I'll refer you back to the Silicon Valley Le Potager for this one but what I will say is that I prefer Mission Dolores park to Silicon Valley (but not significantly enough to change the rating).
4.5/5 again for Le Potager.
Brewed Delight Coffee (Mission Dolores Park)
Again I'll be referring you back to a previous review to save you time but in this case go back to the Japantown Brewed Delight Coffee. There are a couple points to make here though. It would be nicer with a view of Mission Dolores Park rather than being situated round the corner but it would be unfair to dock points for that. The only server on shift here is earning herself $74,600 a year, if my local Starbucks was paying that I'd sign a lifetime contract, what a sweet gig. 4/5 for Brewed Delight Coffee's city center branch.
10 Donuts (Bay Bridge)
10 Donuts was so promising but it let me down maybe more than I've ever been let down in my life (you can work out why if you've looked at the three images). They have a sign saying "No Wi-Fi so talk and love each other", their first mistake was expecting strangers to get along and their second wwas forgetting that we all have data. The doughnuts look great and cost $3 which is about standard fare for a Krispy Kreme type of shop. I love a doughnut and a coffee so 10 Donuts is setting itself up as the perfect shop, a 5/5 you might say. I couldn't have been more wrong. I poked around the back of the shop and to my horror found dog mess in the deep fryer (a good name for a Panic! at the disco parody band). I left promptly and marked 10 Donuts down as a stone cold 0/5.
Quinkie's (Transbay Center)
Quinkie's is best described as the Watch Dogs franchise's take on McDonald's. I love Quinkie's but maybe that's just the nostalgia from visiting as Aiden Pierce way back when life was simpler in 2014. The server was eating a burger as they served me which I think should be the standard, let staff eat while on the job. It's a very small restaurant but honestly the best fast food restaurants are the smallest ones, this is what Subway have done right for so many years. According to a text conversation I hacked into there is a vegan eating here so it looks like they do vegan options here which is beyond great. And best of all, being a fast food takeaway you already know prices are going to be great (there's no menu but we can assume). Quinkie's earns itself a 4/5 for it's knock off McDonald's charm.
10 Donuts (Transbay Center)
Jump back to the last 10 Donuts Review excrement and all. Also this one was completely unstaffed so another minus point from the previous total of zero. -1/5
Le Potager (North Beach)
Very friendly staff, every Le Potager up until now has very understandably been upset with me taking photos but the staff here attempted to pose for them so that's a nice touch. It's in a much louder area of the city though so this and the last point cancel out. Other than that very much standard fare for Le Potager so a 4.5/5
STRIP=TEASE (North Beach)
You best believe there are virtual boobs to be seen in Watch Dogs 2. Is that a selling point? If you're my dad then yes but otherwise depends on how desperate you are. There's a security guard here who was surprisingly friendly to me taking photos in the club. It's a bit downhill from there though. Very loud electronic music actually gave me a bit of a headache, angry bar staff didn't tell me not to take a selfie with them but they did leave when I tried, I also didn't really like the crowd here. Every patron was an old white man with an income of over $150,000 a year, three of them were listed as venture capitalists so not really my type of crowd here either. All of these factors combined to get STRIP=TEASE a 2/5. At least it's clean unlike 10 Donuts.
Brewed Delight Coffee (near WKZ station)
As you can see from the story depicted in the slideshow above I walked in on a couple loudly arguing which is never a good start. The fight then turned physical so for good measure I called the police on both of them. I hate to take it out on the cafe but my experience was ruined. 0/5
Brizo's Seafood Restaurant (Pier 39)
Very nice pier based restaurant. I would 100% stop off at Brizo's for a $13.95 portion of fish and chips (not too expensive) and a beer on a nice sunny cool San Francisco evening. There's pots of crayons on the booth tables so Brizo's seems to be fun for the whole family which is a good thing and a first on our food tour so far. They've also employed a man who dresses as a lobster to dance outside which I think is an excellent advertising tactic. 5/5 for Brizo's as it doesn't put a foot wrong.
Brizo's Seafood Restaurant (Ghirardelli Square)
Much the same as the last offering from Brizo's but this one is a little compact version. The Tesco Express of Brizo's. They have a fresh fish counter which is great if you want to eat the Brizo's fish and lobsters from the comfort of your Californian bayside home. They also have a nice little bar too which is great. Another 5 star showing for Brizo's
Muraccini's (Lombard Street)
The Lombard Street Muraccini's has a much friendlier than the Castro Theatre branch. According to their private texts someone here is on an agonizing no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol diet but they still seem to be fully enjoying a meal and drink so it looks like Muraccini's really nails it for people with different dietary requirements and that's always a big plus. You can pick up a nice hot takeaway coffee while being played out by an accordion player than looks like Freddie Mercury (pictured in slide two). What more do you want. Lombard Street Muraccini's gets a very strong 4/5.
10 Donuts (Ghirardelli Square)
I didn't go in. I refuse. I'm not falling for it a third time.
There's just something I don't trust about the Marin Muraccini's and I can't put a finger on what. Maybe it's the weirdly large room with not many tables. Maybe it's the weird 50's architecture with a tacky holiday park diner interior (which you can see for yourself in the second slide). I don't know. There's also very worryingly no accordion player, where's he gone? What have they done to him? I'm giving this one a 3/5, it's inoffensive but I wouldn't be able to eat there. No thanks.
Brewed Delight (Sausolito)
Standard fare for Brewed Delight Coffee but the view onto the bridge and how well it photographs (I was amazed how real these two actually looked) give it that extra boost up to 5/5.
Absolutely prime fast food location. Perfect for stopping off at the end of a long drive from the city. This one is easily the best Quinkie's in game purely because of it's location. Oakland Quinkie's gets a 4.5/5. I'm minusing a half because I don't think any fast food place could warrant a 5/5, it is probably hideously greasy after all.
The restarant itself is fine, every quinkie's is. The sizeable car park (with a unique dino jeep that you get to keep round the corner) is a bonus. The gang area out back is not a bonus. Sorry Quinkie's you're taking the points reduction for the gang area it's a 3/5.
10 Donuts (North Hill)
I'm not doing it. We're driving straight past as fast as we can, buckle in.
10 Donuts (Port of Oakland)
We're still driving past. Also this one has a gang area adjacent so -1/5
Brizo's Seafood Restaurant (Port of Oakland)
I'm not a fan of the Port of Oakland (in game, I've never been in real life) so it loses a point. It's actually the smallest Brizo's in the game but it still has the classic Brizo's charm. Ultimately thought that point loss for where it is takes it to a slightly flimsy 3.5/5.
Le Potager (Lakeside Park)
For this one you can just see the review for the Golden Gate Park Le Potager.
Brizo's Seafood Restaurant (Jack London Square)
This Brizo's is my second favourite from that chain but at this point, 28 restaruants in I'm tired of Brizo's. 4.5/5, perfect for just docking your boat up and strolling on into.
Wild's Club (Jck London Square)
I honestly couldn't tell you how nice it was to be at a new location, you'd never get it. Wild's Club is the ultimate All-American bar, a true undiluted display of Americana, a real cowboys watering hole. It's also in a lovely quiet park with lots of dogs and great sea views. They obviously serve beer in here and play very loud early 2000s rock music, what else did you expect. A 5/5 for the saviour of this review, a unique bar.
Brewed Delight Coffee (Almeda Creek)
We crash back down to reality and normality for our final stop. Another Brewed Delight Coffee. This time there was a fight outside, this time I was too tired to call the police so I tazed them. 2/5, a nice end point soured by a horrible domestic spat.
If you've made it to the end of this,well done. Also I'm sorry, I missed a Quinkie's and it's been eating away at me but I'm also too worn out to add it. On Friday there will be reviews for The Batman and Granturismo 7 so check back here for them and in the mean time why don't you check the latest article on The Batman?